I remember that it was a Monday.
I remember that it was very cold.
I remember them walking into my job.
I remember them meeting them at the door.
I remember them asking if I was Katherine Turner.
I remember them asking if there was an office where we could speak privately.
I remember distinctively that the sergeant major looked into my eyes as if he were watching someone give his wife the bad news, but I remember thinking this mean behind man is injured and I will have to take care of his ornery self.(I wished)
I remember the word SUCCUMBED, thats what I remember about that conversation.
I remember yelling so loud that I scared myself in the midst of shock.
I remember saying no this will kill his mother, this is not true.
I remember my friend Sara, driving me home.
I remember us driving slowly into the drive way.
I remember the look of betrayal in Chase’s eyes.
I remember a sea of blurry faces.
I remember a neighbor that said she saw the men in uniform come to my house and she just wanted to stop and let me know if there was anything, anything at all that she could do she would gladly do it.
I remember Xavier’s bus slowly coming down the street.
And I remember watching him skip home and I just couldn’t stand at the door and watch him because I knew that would be the last time that I saw that happy kid, with not a single care in the world.
I remember as I stood in the kitchen surrounded by the same sea of blurry faces and I told my baby that I’m so sorry but daddy is never coming home again.
I remember so much of that day…
but what I remember most is every day after that…
because your absence is just as much a presence as if you were standing there.
I will always remember.