Walking With My Forever Angel

Sometimes when I least expect it,

and I’m caught off guard…

the tears still fall.

When I hear a familiar phrase,

or I think there is something that I would

like to share with you…

the tears still fall.

And just when I think,

“Man, am doing good!”

Sometimes the tears still fall.

I’ve given in to the fact that there were

not many days that we didn’t count as

special and so yes, the tears do still fall.

I’m taking it easy, and going slow. I’m

careful, I’m guarded but no matter what

I do the tears still find their way into the

equation.

I’m healing, one day at a time but the

Truth is  where there is great love, there

will always be great loss.

And so for sure, the tears still fall.

Today I feel good because God has granted me just a little more grace to run this race.

Thank You God

In this life God grants us many gifts. It is not as much about what the gift is as it is what we do with that gift. Sometimes we may put the gift away, in other words we may unintentionally neglect our gift(s). It is like a kid getting their most prized gift for their birthday but within a week later they are careless with it and may leave it lying around or even misplace it.

Though we may place our gifts on a shelf for a little bit, in this life we must be very careful to revisit our gift, dust it offf and treat it as a fine gem or priceless collectible, as God would have it.

it is true that all who wander are not lost

but even more true that all that are lost, don’t necessarily wander

Some are as lost as can be, standing still, standing right there beside you.

lost one, though you’re here, come in out of the rain

may you find yourself and your  purpose again

For the life of me,

i don’t know how I’m still standing.

i don’t know how I’m able to smile

For the life of me

i just don’t know why you couldn’t have stayed

for just a little while.

today doesn’t seem right

withoit you here in it

it doesnt feel good

not for a minute.

im pushing through

and I’m holding on

i don’t know why I’m still standing

and I don’t know why I feel strong.

its not the truth,

and it does all feel like a lie

For the life of me,

I don’t know why.

 

No matter what’s going on and no matter what it looks like,

I must go and seize the day.

No matter what I look or feel like, I must do it anyway.

Chin up, chest out, one foot in front of the other…

Push forward, march on, let’s get it.

No time for trading one sorrow for another.

This is just a pep talk for me,  “Kat it’s time to seize the day!”

•    This time of year is always difficult for me. No matter how different I “feel” I get it when people say you just learn to cope differently or better as time goes  on. I feel better as in some time has passed and I don’t cry everyday but my heart was truly wounded when War was taken away. I have my faith so I honestly and truly get some joy from knowing that he is in heaven with mom mom Sadie, His most favorite person to ever walk this earth. All of his favorite people are in heaven with him, why would I be sad about that or how could I be sad about that? Well…I am sad about it some though not nearly as much as I used to be. This world will always be the same, but it will always be different since he is not here. These are just thoughts but this is my new reality.

Strength is something that you don’t know you have

until you are using it

Strong is something that you don’t know you are

until you’re being it

If anyone would have told me five years ago

that strong is what I would have to be today

I would have laughed and said ahhhh get outta here

me? i’m just an ordinary girl

Everyday I’m one step closer

to walking in my purpose

Everyday I’m one step closer

to meeting the new me

The closer I get, the more sure I am

of who I’m supposed to be.

Everyday I’m one step closer

to turning and walking away

I’m one step closer

to seizing the day,

one step closer, to my destiny.

Everyday, I’m one step closer.

“I prayed for you before I knew you.

I prayed even harder once I met you.

I asked God to please send me a husband to love me, even more than he would love himself.

I asked to have a husband that would take very good care of me, as well as the unconditional love.

I asked God to please send me a husband that would take me all over the world.

For the life of me I don’t know what possessed me to pray so specifically at the young age of fourteen.

All I know is that I met you thirty days before my 15th birthday and I haven’t stopped loving you since.

What’s more beautiful is that I married my prayer…

One day I woke up and I realized you were God’s gift to me.

 

A special thanks to Felicia Sams for coining the phrase and title of this literary piece without even knowing it. Thank you.