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it would be so easy  to give up and to quit…                                                                                              in fact i give up and i quit everyday                                                                                                     i give up the hope that you will walk through the door just one more time, i give up hope that we will watch our youngest walk across the stage together as he graduates high school one day, and I give up hoping that i’ll wake up and this will ALL be a bad dream                                                                                                                                                              I quit holding out hope for so many dreams not lived out, so many realities not lived and i quit feeling sorry for myself, so long ago. then i realized, that didn’t help either. and all of a sudden i realized each day I’m just another day closer to never.

man do i miss you

I have come to realize that you can be poor, wealthy or rich or barren, (yes there is a difference in wealthy and rich) if there is one thing I have come to terms with is that if you live long enough, you will suffer the loss of a loved one. Now, no matter whether you are wealthy or poor (i would say refers to your financial status) will determine how you ‘weather’ that storm. In these end times we are suffering so much loss that it would behoove you to wake up from your slumber and invest in those around you. Have you ever seen a person go through one thing and they are just DONE, and then on the other hand others go through so much loss in every area of their life, just trial at every turn but they still are able to persevere, through it all?

The truth of the matter is that in the midst of “so much loss” people that truly and genuinely find solace and comfort not only in the arms of our heavenly Father, but others feed all of that love back into them. Thank you friends and family for breathing the love and the life back into me through what feels like “so much loss”

Its 3 O’clock in the morning…. I’m not alright but I’m okay. I sit, I look around at the many photos of you. A line to one of my favorite Marvin Gaye tunes pops in my head as if you pushed play on your old cassette player.  “I’ve got your picture hanging on the wall, but it can’t sing or come to me when I call your name, it’s just a picture in a frame…” hmmm…the world sleeps, as its eery silence haunts me, invading every corner of my mind. The thoughts, the memories remind me though it hurts, at 3 o’clock in the morning it is good to be alone with my most intimate thoughts of you.

When I look at the clouds I feel like I escape the unnecessary busyness of our crazy world. I want to slow down but the more I try, people are still pulling me along. However, I am not pulled if I don’t want to be. My prayer is that God pull me in the direction that HE wants and needs me to be pulled in.

9/13/16

The life you live is the legacy that you leave. It is so difficult at times to know which way to turn, to know when to turn or even IF I should turn…hmmm~

Well, my forever angel life has a funny way of coming full circle. It’s been almost two years since you went to heaven. I remember your smile, but I kind of got sad because I was trying to remember the last day you were at home with us. I remember dropping you off at that itty bitty airport…hmmm

I think things over and I rethink them. You know one of my prayers everyday is that none of our friends ever experience this. Sometimes I think people are afraid of us because maybe if they stand too close or come too close the pendulum will stop mid air  or their hourglass will run out too. Most don’t feel that way but after a while you feel like the pink elephant in the room (eyes wide shut) My forever angel…I am so glad that when you left we were on great terms and yes God comes to reclaim his most prized in their prime. I have come to terms, accepted, and kind of forced myself to have an appreciation of sorts. I am thankful because you my love are everywhere. I will always love you in my heart because that is how I keep you alive and  “I share ~us~ with the world because that is how our legacy lives! Living in the light! Love you to the moon and back ❤

Luke 11:33 ~No man, when he has lighted a lamp, puts it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a lampstand, that they who come in may see the light.~

 

My name is Katherine and  my journey is ever changing. After my husband’s untimely death, it felt as if this tragic event and loss would define the rest of my life. Instead it is shaping my life, daily.  We all are on a journey of sorts and the twists and sometimes extreme abrupt turns cause us to slow way down, reflect daily, and enable us to grow. In every journey it IS about the process. Remember, the reflection portion is just as important as the growth that follows. Come and share with me in my growth as I share with you all my deepest innermost reflections. Remember this…if you don’t take care or have a vested interest in the story, you can not respect the journey.