“As I Grow”

img_2042As I grow, I Hope that the world is kind,

as I grow I hope that I am allowed

to be me, to be free, to just simply be…

As I grow.

I am so empty during this time of year,

hoping, wishing, reaching for anything of peace

anything lacking chaos,

that my bring my heart a little ease.

As I grow, I will reflect on things of yesterday

while embracing the treasures of tomorrow

and as I grow I will remember to cherish the memories

but still let go of the sorrow…

as I grow.

“Just Not Today”

Tomorrow will be a better day, it will have to,  because today just doesn’t feel good.I’m numb, I’m sad, I’m a little lonely…but more than anything I MISS YOU. I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times before. Nobody knows what this feels like until BOOM! The unthinkable happens! The world doesn’t stop turning. My tears won’t stop falling. And my heart has not stopped hurting. War, I know that you would say Kat “what are you going to do, sit there and let the world run you over?” Someone told  me that War said to them if anything happens to him to make sure I was okay because  he KNEW the kids would get over it but my heart would NOT be okay. Although my heart is broken I plan on living for a long time. I  know that one day I will be alright. What is alright you ask?  It is anything but what I feel like at this present moment. I can’t throw a hissy fit because it won’t do any good. I have to wait on tomorrow or the next day. Whatever day it may be I’m waiting on ALRIGHT to come my way. I’ve never had much patience but I’m learning everything with grace. I’ll be right here waiting on ALRIGHT. Maybe tomorrow? The condition of my heart tells me, “just not today”.

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SELF MADE?

When you really want to go deep, ask yourself a question…

What do you think the most damaging lie ever told is or was?

Well it depends on who you talk to I suppose, in both cases. One of the biggest lies ever told has been told and repeated by many. It is not the size of the lie that matters but the severity or long lasting effects that the lie has that truly determines it’s impact.

You may ask yourself why. Here is the truth. Because the more times it is told the more it is believed and thus even it is a “small lie” it is given life in the repetition of it!  So with all of that being stated, I am brought to my next literary piece…

SELF MADE

hmmmm…self made you say? What makes one self made?

…with the audacious ability to bring one’s self up out of the miry clay?

SELF MADE…the ability to breathe life into yourself and any or ALL that you do?

self made you say, my friend you are just that! …a self made fool!

Sad is the one that believes in himself, self made of NOTHING and from nothing else!

You will surely die a miserable soul, if you co-sign this lie and continue to carry it on.

SELF MADE! Hmph! I scoff at the very thought,

one of the grandest lies ever conceived

sold only to fools, but by many so called intellects this grand lie was bought.

SO I challenge you today to look deeper and search within,

for integrity can not be bought nor sold,

SELF MADE you say…surely the grandest of ALL LIES ever told!

Katherine

“All That I Am”

All that I am…

I am because HE, allowed me to be.

All that I am…

Is more than I could have ever imagined,

and all that I am…

is not enough, simply because, there is so much more to me than I realize.

All that I am…

is what I strive to be IN HIM, not for the next man to marvel at but,

all that I am is simply because HE made me, in the image of HIM.

And HE…

is all that I am.

Incomplete…

It has been a few days since I have posted anything but I have been writing in my mind all along. S0 here is what I mentally “wrote” while on my morning drive today.

Incomplete…

So many days my life feels…

My thoughts are often…

My heart on many days feels…

Simply because you’re not here life feels…

Today I feel totally…

I love you and I go on anyway but life without you is so…

Incomplete.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“In This Live What Will You Give…”

In this life will you give… more than you take, lie down your life for another man’s sake

In this life will you give…your mother aches, harder than when she labored to bring you forth

In this life will you give…your all or what you feel this life is worth

In this life…

Will you give or care, about the next person standing there

Or will you take of that which you are not willing to give, just wandering aimlessly taking for granted your gifts?

I hope that in this life you will give a moment to see that this journey is not about you, not about me, but about giving more of what has been given to us

Don’t be that person that others look at and say, hmmm he or she they  don’t care don’t even bother to waste your time, going over there.

Be that light that others long to see, that may lead the lost home at the end of their unwanted journey.

What will you give in this life?

 

“If You Don’t Care About the Story, You Can’t Respect the Journey”

I want to share with you all something that actually happened to me and of all places for it to occur it took place at my place of worship.

My first piece of friendly advice would be to invest in people. If you walk around not genuinely caring about others struggles and challenges, I promise you that the day will come when you will find yourself void! That was not a typo by the way. I said that you will find yourself VOID. It is those that never make a deposit in others that come up in the end with an empty account. With that being said here is the account of what happened to me on Sunday.

As I approached the sanctuary a sweet lady asked me had I decided where I would serve in church. I had, it was not on her auxiliary but because I had observed her “awkwardness” and because I genuinely love my church family,  I did not want her to think that I didn’t want to serve with her. I suppose I should have just said no but that is not me. I proceeded to tell her allow me to share a little about my story with you. She quickly said it’s either yes or no. Well I was literally taken aback, I haven’t experienced that type of abrupt shut down I think ever… I wasn’t offended but taken aback as I said so I immediately retorted with well okay then just know if you don’t care about a person’s story you can not respect the journey. While I was not offended I was slightly saddened. A few things happened in the time span of a few seconds. The genuine love and respect that I felt for that lady was literally swatted down as a pesky fly. Then I immediately felt so sorry for her husband, because I thought if a person would do this to a person that has shown them nothing but love then how do you regard others with whom you are comfortable. Last but not least she made me realize that the love that is widespread in the place of worship that she frequents has not truly permeated her spirit. I’m not offended, I am quiet saddened and I feel really bad for that lady. And guess what? Ironically, I would love to know about her story. But she told me a lot that I did not know on that day. If you don’t care about a person’s story, you can’t respect their journey.

The World Keeps Moving

Sometimes one may feel like a fall leaf, blown to the ground caught up in the gusts of wind called life, being tossed to and fro…

You try to slow down, stop, halt, anything to discontinue this emotional feeling of being turned topsy turvy, uncontrollably…

You reach, you grasp, trying to feel for anything that is familiar…the sad reality is that nothing is familiar, safe, or even close to it.

STOP! You think in your loudest inner voice only to realize that the room is eerily silent and still…

Then as you try to slow your pace so that you are able to at least try, and get your footing, well you realize…

that nothing is the same, or normal or right and the world keeps  moving.

“Hide Me In Plain Sight…”

My daily prayer is for God to hide me…in plain sight.

Don’t see me world, don’t look on my pain with pity.

I don’t understand WHY people long to be seen, WHY

so many long to be in the lime light. I share because so many

tell me, “your words are healing to so many of us.”

What I want most of all is to just “hide in plain sight and allow God’s voice to be heard”

Just a moment, allow me to correct THAT.

Allow Spirit to speak through me, and when we say Spirit that is that which is OF GOD,

not ‘adversarial to’ but in accordance with (HIS VOICE ONLY).

Many wish to hide their gifts, but because it feels like that is all that I have left,

I feel obligated to share. But back to my point. I ask why do so many want to share so

MUCH? The sad part of it all is that you are not even sharing that which is of God, you

want to be seen.  Maybe this post is useless but I feel like some one needs to know

that being seen by ‘people’ means nothing until you are gazed upon by God.